Goodbye Maple Place

The experience of moving to a new place of living can be a dream, or a nightmare. For some of us, we get to upgrade, while others are forced out to other more meager dwellings. I was fortunate to move up on the scale while moving away from a current hell hole called Maple Place. I have made a poem concluding my move out of that surrey dump, of which I am going to share with you.

Goodbye Maple place
-I wish to never return except to see the friends I have met

Goodbye annoying people always wanting to touch and caress my dog
-Stop that, it’s weird

Goodbye bin divers at 4 am
-It’s too early to stir around the smell of garbage, you stink

Goodbye heaters that never work in the winter time
-We really hope the next people take you to court over them

Goodbye mysterious hole in the bathroom wall
-I tried not to look at, it was creepy

Goodbye terrible water pressure and shatty plumbing as a whole
-Never understood plumbing or I would have fixed it myself

Goodbye horrible maintenance and cleaning staff
-I used to see how long it would be in between vacuuming and floor washing, sometimes up to three weeks.

Goodbye terrible drug addicted neighbors who stay up till 4 am every day
-Your d-bags and will get yours one day

Goodbye weird people with dogs (Mike and Melissa you guys are great this doesn’t apply to you)
-Just because you have a dog doesn’t mean I want to talk to you at all.

Goodbye weird guy who has a “Neverland Bookmobile”
-Michael Jackson is going to meet you in hell, South Park Chicken Fucker Part 2

Goodbye bed bug infestation.
-Oh yeah new tenants…… about that

In conclusion, I hope the good people who live there find a way out soon. For the rest of you, stay and rot for all I care.

@mattthemascot

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One response to “Goodbye Maple Place”

  1. codybowie says :

    Said creepy guy with the bookmobile came into my restaurant today..started hitting on every teenage worker there regardless of gender. Threatened all my managers, called one a fat c*nt. Damn near assaulted me while he was getting kicked out.

    Police also came and got him on record. It was noted that he is mentally unstable.

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