So today I went to the Cloverdale flea market with my wife and some friends of ours. It was a very sunny and warm Sunday where I felt like melting an ice cream sandwich on my face or sticking my head into a tub of ice water. For those of you who don’t know, flea markets are places where 99% of the products you see for sale are just a bunch of junk no one wants anymore. These flea markets have been bastardized by ever annoying shows such as storage wars, where now everyone things there hunk of dried dog poo is worth a hundred thousand dollars. Although it’s usually truckloads of stolen goods sold by gypsies, occasionally you find some decent items mixed among them. But then, you find something so awe inspiring, so nostalgic, you lose a bit of yourself in memories of past or dreams of the future. And I am here to share some of the things I saw that I almost bought.
From the outside it just looks like a bronzed bird. But upon closer inspection you see that it is actually Toucan Sam, the mascot of Fruit Loops cereal, frozen in carbonite, then covered in bronze, put on display because the owner is a mad sadist bird hater. I felt bad for him but the guy wanted 50,000 republic credits, which aren’t even real so I left the table, hoping that @streetcrow will be able to fund his cousin’s escape from his vile jailers grasp.
These were the first Nintendo games I ever played, Super Mario Bros and Blades of Steel. Some of my finest moments in the sport of hockey came from Blades of Steel. Like the time I beat my 9 year old cousin by a devastating score of 16 – 0. This was in 1991 and ever since then my video game playing skills have only gotten worse.
And Super Mario Bros, you have a special place in my heart. You changed the world and I am better off with you in my life than if you had ceased to exist. Who knows, if you didn’t change the scope of how games were played maybe I would be a doctor or a physicist, living a boring uncreative suicidal life. I love you man.
The slide projector was a revolutionary piece of technology, it allowed pictures to be blown up in relatively clear quality against a wall of some kind. Now obviously 40 something years later this is a completely useless, ancient piece of junk, but it is a prime example of the level of technology available in the 1960s and 70s. This brand, however, Google can’t even answer much other than that it is basically stolen pieces from other projectors on the market and sold as a different company for ridiculously cheap. I believe this may have been a walmart scam before walmart was walmart.
Growing up a Vancouver Canucks fan, I saw the rise and fall of the Russian Rocket known as Pavel Bure. I saw him live in person several times and could honestly tell you, no one in the world was on this guys level. Eventually he was hampered by injuries and a terrible contract that led to his removal in Vancouver and eventually back to Russia. This autographed photo was only 100 dollars and came with a certificate of authenticity. If I didn’t just buy a condo and wasn’t planning a trip to Mexico, this would be up on my wall already.
A panther poorly carved out of wood? You bet! The owner of this item tried telling me this was worth 30 dollars! Hah! What a dipshit. The only reason I partially liked this was because I read a series of novels that feature a panther in it.
And finally A FREAKIN CROSSBOW! It was crudely made, and didn’t have all of its working components but hey you know what? If I got it to work I would be able to put an arrow right between the eyes of a bear. Or if I was like David Booth of the Vancouver Canucks, I would leave some rancid meat in a barrel and cheap shot it when it wasn’t looking. I wonder if bear meat is any good….. Dammit off topic.
A FREAKING CROSSBOW!