Thor’s Reviews! The Dark Knight Rises

Im going to let my new friend Thor do reviews for me from now on, so be nice to him.

Thor’s Reviews!

Tonight we are going to reviewing a movie called “The Dark Knight Rises”. My friend Matt has taken me under his wing and shown me many things since coming to this world, including what is described as Hollywood. So without further ado here, we, go…………

Let me first start by stating that this mythical Bat creature is a pretty cool human being, but would not stand a chance against me on the field of battle. The Batman series, which started off as a “comic book” created by a man who had too much time on his hands, is a collegiate of many films, television series and comic series. After watching and reading all of the Batmans history nonstop since my arrival, I have determined that this movie is a breathtaking roller coaster from beginning to end. Some parts seemed a bit drawn out, and probably could have been at least 10 minutes shorter, but it wouldn’t be Christopher Nolan if there wasn’t parts that made me want to scream. Overall the movie was exceptionally acted, the visuals were magnificent and you could really see everyone was extremely serious about this movie. The music and sound is one thing I in particular pay attention to, and this film was perfect in that department.

The plot line was a bit confusing, and if someone has not seen the first two movies in the trilogy, they won’t have a clue about this one. By the end of course everything makes sense but it felt too long of a process to identify all the ins and outs, with twists almost every 20 minutes further warping an already weak story. What it came down to was Nolan had to end it, and he did, and it actually made me yell obscenities at the screen while the film was still playing.

Acting grades

Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne – 5 Odin slaps to the face /5
Christian Bale as Batman – 4 Bat symbols in the sky /5
Tom Hardy as Bane – 10 super badass pistol whips /10
Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle / Catwoman – 25 super hot sex kittens /25 ( i mean…. screw it im not apologizing)
Gary Oldman as Commissioner James Gordon – 3 seen him do betters /5
Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox – 5 narrator of the year awards /5
Michael Caine as Alfred – 5 we need to talks /5
Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake 5 i knew you werent a fluke in third rock from the sun or inception-s /5

In short the film was fantastic and and I have minor issues with the length and a few lines of the script but I wont let that stop me from giving it a 98% approval rating. Even Odin himself will like this cinema take on a modern day human taking on terrorism and a scary guy in a mask.

Thor Odinson III signing off
@ThorsGrandson

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One response to “Thor’s Reviews! The Dark Knight Rises”

  1. kyle ferguson says :

    Thanks matt. I cant wait to see the movie (possibly tonite)

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